Wife’s inheritance money

Assalamualaikum,

Firstly, I am grateful for my husband and our relationship. Allah has blessed me greatly with my husband and children (3 of them).
My father recently passed away, and left me an inheritance. I surprised my husband with the news of the money. We were not expecting anything financial from my father, it was a huge shock.
My husband and I sat down and planned out what we would like to do with the money.
Afterwards, I overspent on unnecessary things.
He was livid! I understood.
We came to agreement that I would learn better behavior with sending. I agree that spending frivolously is not pleasing to Allah.
After that, my husband keeps record of every penny i spend, and he fights with me or ignores me or calls me curse names when he sees my bank account has charges from coffee shop. I have zero freedom now (financially). I have to tell him every thing I am spending. The other day I ran out of laundry soap and asked permission to buy some. He said “no! If you didn’t make the money to earn the soap, then go without”.
I am angry about this because we have plenty of money n the savings account that i inherited, yet we are living like we are stressed and poor.
He didn’t speak to me for two and half days in anger after I spent some of my inheritance money on a cavity filling at the dentist. He said he’d rather I pull the tooth out.
This has gone too far. I work too. I make salary and have inheritance. What do I have rights over?

Wasalam

May Allah bless you.
First of all, based on what you have said in regards to your husband’s attitude, this goes against any form of human or Islamic moralities.

Secondly, when it comes to wasting money from an Islamic perspective, it is true that this goes against the teaching of Islam. However, the act of wasting money can be subjective and it may vary from one person to the other. A hypothetical example would be that, going to a coffee shop once a year might be considered as wasting money for some people from an Islamic perspective. But for another person, it could be absolutely fine if he goes to a coffee shop every single day. In fact, they could also be rewarded from Allah if they thank Him for the bounty of being in a financial position, where they can actually go everyday.
Therefore, you should not be afraid if you feel that you can afford spending money in a halal way, where you are actually enjoying life by paying for what makes you happy.

Thirdly, there are indeed lot of ways where one can spend money in a manner where this can lead to an increase in wealth, such as by investing etc especially in this time of crisis. Despite what you have said about your husband, I can guess that after so many years of marriage life, he would want you to also spend the money in a way that is meaningful to you and your children. But, ultimately, the money you have inherited is yours from an Islamic perspective. No one can tell you how to spend OR not to spend. Even if they have a good intention, they cannot dictate what you do.

And Allah knows best!