Salaam,
Me and my husband have been married for a year now alx. The first six months we didn’t afford anything but the necessities, which i’m grateful for to my husband. So to be exact he payed the rent, food , his bills and he had exams that he had to pay for. That meant that i had to pay my own bills, which i did alx with the money i got from the goverment. I was a full time student at that time and also i am still today. Summer came i started working part time bc there was no school, with the money i made i planned a trip for us where i contributed more than half for the vacation, happily doing so. Knowing that there will be a time where i get to enjoy and depend on my husband after he gets the rase in his work. I have to admit i haven’t been the easiest person about money, bc i have pressured my husband about moving to a bigger and a nicer house or to decorate the house. Everytime he told me he can’t do it, which was true. I just wasen’t being reasonable and that’s my mistake.
So nine months in to our marriage my husband got a rase at work, with the rase he bought a car for us. Which alx is very useful, it helps a lot with doing a errands faster and the groceries. So he bought the car his first month after getting the rase. I still kept paying my bills. If my bills were late or were too much he would help me, but i had to ask in order to be helped. Then a month after he was on the phone to his sister and i was not listening that closely, but i started to hear an argument. So i came to see if everything was okay. My husband was mad at his sister for buying a different phone than they agreed on and said why did she do that when she’s not the one paying for it. I was shocked bc this is the same man who kept telling me we can only afford the necesities and nothing more, he let me pay for my bills each month on my own when all i was making was 30% of what he makes each month. I was so confused and hurt. My feelings got the better of me and i didn’t handle the conversation as good as i could have. My husband kept calling me a leach and nothing ever makes me happy and also that i wasen’t understanding. We got past that alx and he agreed from now on while i am a student he will pay for my bills in full from that day. Also when he got the rase his family contacted him and said they need him to invest in a family business. So that meant the little money we had, was needed to save for the business. That was hard for me to undestand bc my husband kept telling for months that when he gets a rase we get to a lot of stuff. But all our plans got changed in few swconds. The business idea is smart and without a doubt will prosper but i don’t feel like we are in that place to be doing that. So after buying his sister the phone then next month came and he gave me money for bills, i was so pleased alx. It felt amazin after 10 months to be supported by your husband. I felt like i was doing a lot for him and not getting anything in return. I was full time student, who cleaned the whole house by myself always made sure after he gets from work there is food for him. So i felt like i was doing my job as wife and he was slacking as a husband. Now i’m still studying but i decided to take a small break from school bc of corona it’s been a really hard time for me and to keep myself motivated has been hard. So i decided to take a break from school and get back to work for few months. I was already planning what i was gonna do it with the money, buy new furnitures since some are broken, pay for my driving school, save money, buy something for my husband since he hasn’t bought anything for himself in a while and also maybe plan a vacation. I told all this to my husband and he got mad, he said to me why wouldn’t i do anything smarter with my money , the house isn’t important. And he told me if you can do all that you should help me with the rent. And i was shocked but i asked him i help him with the rent, will he help me with the furniture he said no. Also i asked him will he help me with the bills, he said no. You are getting a lot of money is what he said to me, and i can do all that by myself. He also brought up the fact that he bought all the furnitures on his own before we got married (ps. I was studying also then and what he said to me then was he has my back and he wants to support me and he sees no problem getting everything ready for a future house). I’m really hurt by what he said and he is now considering divorce bc he doesn’t see me as a team player and he thinks i’m stupid bc i don’t want to invest in thr business. I have no idea what to do, i wanna keep our marriage but he dosen’t seem to want to.