I needed some clarification, I think I already know the answer but wanted further guidance, so please help.
I have had two children, one after the other. I fell pregnant whilst my first born was 4 months. So I had to leave on second maternity straight after my first maternity leave finished. I went from being the breadwinner in the household to not earning much and at the moment I’m on zero pay. Both my kids are very young - 1 and half year old and the other one is 5 months. When I only had 1 child my husband didn’t ever make a feed or change a nappy but now I have two I struggle alone and ask for help. Islamically is he ok to change a nappy as he believes he doesn’t need to?
Secondly - I have asked for some money to help towards grocery costs and the children’s costs - nappies etc. I also pay the WiFi for the house, both our phone bills, and insurance. Before I used to pay for all holidays and gas and electric on top and bought everything that was needed in the house. Literally everything small or big. He has finally started to give me £300 a month to help towards all of that But kept complaining that it’s too much of a burden on him. In reality he makes £3000 a month and the mortgage and council tax only tots up to £650.
As he was saying he was struggling I tTied to make money on the side to help cover mine and the kids costs for which him and his entire family are calling me a ‘ greedy mum’ who is ‘neglecting her kids’ as I am too busy making money. Truth is I didn’t even make enough to cover costs. I have nothing saved up in my account. And today it turns out he has been saving money - cash, at his mums house. His mum is wealthy and does not need money so I don’t understand why he’s saving money there. What is the Islamic teaching on this? Is he allowed to hide money like this? Especially when we need it as a family?
His parents have also been having a go at me saying I’m a bad mum. Is the responsibility of looking after the children all mine? This includes, doing everything for them, ie every nappy feed etc, and not asking him to play with the children whilst I am cooking a meal for us to eat as well?
Please help as I am really struggling and just need to know what Islam says about finances and looking after children